“KAP helped me 'wake up' to more positive things in my life…”
Sought KAP for Depression and Anxiety
1) What helped you decide on KAP?
I have been seeking mental health therapy for years. I have felt ups and downs with one-on-one therapy, but things in my life kept keeping me from reaching the full potential of what therapy could offer. I started to feel stuck and stopped moving forward mentally, and my physical health stopped improving. KAP was suggested to me by my therapist. I did the research, and with my therapist’s explanations and clarifications, I decided to start the KAP series.
2) What was your most profound experience during infusion?
My experiences with KAP varied depending on the dose. Once the right dose was found for me as an individual, KAP started to be an escape. At first, I was present, still in my space and still in my own mind. Old memories flooded my mind causing an emotional response. I thought that was what was in store for me and was my path to healing. As the dose increased, I started to realize what KAP was, at least it was for me. KAP was freedom. I was able to let go and take the journey that was meant for me. I was able to leave my present and leave to a place of vastness and tranquility. My mind was able to rest as I explored a place beyond myself and my depression and trauma. I was able to feel and experience a place without pain or anxiety. I can’t explain where I went in my mind, but if I had to sum it up, it was a place of freedom from my scars, my pain, my anxiety, and frustration.
3) What was your experience, post-infusion?
My experience over the two weeks was split up into two parts. The first week I felt what was described as a shock to my mind. I was very internal and quiet. My mind and body felt tired, and I ended up sleeping a lot. As the treatments continued and the dose increased, I started to feel less fatigue and started to open up and engage my surroundings more. As I started to reach the end of KAP, I started to get emotionally closer with my wife; I started to notice things that I had missed, such as the smell of my son’s hair, the beauty of the trees and clouds, or the warmth of a friendly conversation. I found myself moved to a different way of thinking, from a negative way to a more positive way. It was a subtle change over the last week of KAP. This was a place I had not visited within myself for a long time, and the feeling left me feeling grateful for the experience.
4) What did you hope to address during infusion of through the experience of KAP?
I did research on KAP prior to my infusions, but I was not sure what to fully expect from KAP as it really is an individual journey. I was given the basics from my therapist, but I was told to not have expectations and to let go and take the journey and let it take me where I was meant to go. Control, for me, is part of my anxiety condition. It meant a lot to be able to give up control for KAP. I wanted my KAP infusion journey to help me see things differently. I wanted immediate dramatic changes right away, but KAP for me came on gradually. I didn’t get what I would describe as dramatic changes where you can list them out one by one; what I found is that the subtle changes in thinking had a dramatic effect on me overall. It has been more than a month since my KAP treatments, and I am still feeling the positive effects. I am taking fewer anxiety medications. I am less controlling of my environment. I am less scared. I am able to move through the day with more appreciation for my life and what is good in my life. Bad things still happen, but I am able to see it as a moment instead of being my life in general. This is the subtle change that ended up being a dramatic change that I was looking for.
5) Did your experience exceed your expectations?
My therapist did a good job working with me for months, preparing me for this KAP journey. In my opinion, a person should not just jump into KAP without a solid treatment plan. With the guidance of my therapist, I was surrounded by doctors for my care. I had a Psychiatrist, my General MD, and my Psychologist all working together for my care. I was a patient that was fully ready to get the full benefit of KAP. With this three-doctor approach, I got what I wanted out of KAP. My expectations were not set too high, but they were not set too low either. I think this was important in the overall experience of KAP, to let go of the control of the outcome and let what is meant to happen, happen. KAP was what I needed it to be for me as an individual, and the preparation prior to KAP helped me keep things realistic and therapeutic.
6) What is next for you that may be new as a result of your treatment?
Do you think your approach to previous triggers is or will be different? Or do you feel more motivated to accomplish something you have been wanting to do?
I am less scared to experience my life. I have more mental strength to control my triggers and recognize the situations that may cause setbacks. I do feel more motivated, but it has been subtle. I don’t have an overwhelming urge to fix the world; my aspirations are more centered and realistic. KAP kept me within myself and did not set me up for disappointment later. My depression and anxiety kept me from living the fullest life I was meant to live, such as having fulfilling relationships, enjoying the process of my children growing up, but also letting go of the losses I have been hanging on to, keeping me from moving forward. KAP did not do all this for me alone, but it was a catalyst along with extensive therapy that continues to change my way of thinking and experiencing life.
7) Was your experience life-changing?
Overall, my experience was life-changing. I had been stuck in my loop of control, sadness, and anxiety for years. I was unable to see the beauty around me and have appreciation and gratitude for the things I do have, but I only focused on the things I do not have. Going through KAP as part of my therapy process helped me “wake up” to more positive things in my life. When I was at my darkest time, I was only focused on my own pain and suffering, and I was in a closed-loop system and was very selfish. Now, after KAP, I am more able to see things a little differently, giving the good in my life the chance to have an impact. I believe this result is life-changing, especially if one can continue the journey started with KAP with a therapist.
“I am definitely more focused”
The most profound experience during infusion was the ability to slow down my thinking and the distinct understanding of my mind and body; the experience was an amazing break for my brain. I’m not sure how others think, but I tend to think thousands of thoughts at a time. Imagine trying to read 100 pages of a book all at once; I was able to read each page line by line instead. I was able to take one thought at a time, which is something I had never done before. For that, my brain is truly thankful.
The perspective I gained also gave me the confidence to know and trust in myself and my ideas since I could slow my thoughts down and fully process them. I feel good. There isn’t really any other way to explain it other than that. I feel good. I was able to truly understand how our minds work and that they are MUCH, much more powerful than we believe. Knowing that we are more capable than we let ourselves believe is a powerful thing and makes you feel good. It also allows you to trust more in yourself and believe yourself before you take any outside opinions.
I am definitely more focused; I believe that is a result of knowing that I can trust my ideas and my mind more than I had before. That motivates me to get more things done because I have some interesting things I would like to accomplish.